It's already October, sort of

I don't really have time to write at the moment, since it's a quarter past ten and I still have to get through a sizable mountain of AP Bio homework, but I just felt the need to point out that in less than two hours, it will be October.

Let's all take a moment to wave a fond farewell to September 2010, shall we?

According to the calendar on my wall, it's already October. This is because my friend made it for me a few weeks ago, and since it's kind of awesome, I put it up right away even though it was September and the first month in the calendar is October. So, in my room, it's been October for about two weeks already. For the record, that means that I beat the people at the international date line to the change in the month. Ha, you people out in the Pacific Ocean! Beat by the American Midwest! At this rate, I'll even beat you to the time change! Except not really, because no one else actually acknowledges that it's already October 13th (or something like that).

I'm really tired, so I'd better stop now before I say anything else really, really dumb that I'm going to regret typing when I reread this in a few days.

People-Watching at the Mall

Call me a creep if you will. I don't agree. What else are malls good for? Shopping? Psh. Well, if you've never deigned to observe passersby in your local mall, then here are some stock characters whom you're sure to see:

-The cluster of absurdly noisy middle-school aged girls dressed from head to toe in Abercrombie & Fitch. You hear the phrase "OMG" spoken out loud at least ninety-two times as they go by.

-The couple holding hands, giggling, and looking completely unaware of the world.

-The man lurking awkwardly outside of the Gap or Ann Taylor Loft as he waits for his wife to finish shopping. He may or may not be clutching a large pile of shopping bags.

-The stressed-looking college student drinking coffee and staring intently at a laptop at a table in the book store.

-The woman being trailed by about seventeen children of assorted ages. She probably looks extremely hassled and is saying something like "No, Sarah, you may not run down the up escalator," or "Joey! Stop pulling your sister's hair!"

-The teenagers who are clutching massive plastic cups full of some kind of sugary frozen beverage and meandering past the stores at about 0.03 miles per hour.

-The businesswoman in the intimidating suit. Her purposeful stride makes it clear that she has somewhere important to be. She's not afraid to bulldoze the teenagers, the middle-school girls, or the giggling couple in her determined march, since she's in too much of a hurry to walk in anything but a perfectly straight line.

7 Alternate Uses for an Empty Tissue Box

1. Boat - It's perfect for your rafting and sailing adventures. Just make sure you're small enough to fit inside of it. It works best if you are, say, a gerbil or a very small elephant. Also, you may want to waterproof your box boat before use.
2. Wallpaper - Have you ever wondered why tissue boxes come in so many amusing colors and patterns? It's so that, once all of the tissues have been used, you can cut apart the box and plaster it on your wall. Approved by interior designers everywhere.
3. Alternate Piggy Bank - This is great if you're sick of those absurdly cheerful little porcelain pigs. That slit in the top of the box that tissues are supposed to come out of is perfect for depositing coins. (Note: it being a cardboard box, security is not always guaranteed)
4. Stylish Hat - Perch one on your head and you're sure to turn heads everywhere. Trust me, it's because you're so trendy and not because people think it's weird that you have a tissue box on your head.
5. Telephone - True, no one will answer if you talk into a tissue box. But it's still entertaining.
6. Brick - There's no material sturdier for use in building a wall than an empty tissue box. Unless it rains. Or pressure is applied. Or... you get the idea.
7. Drum - Turn the box upside down and whack it rhythmically. Hours of surefire entertainment, guaranteed.

Musings of a Cotton-Stuffed Brain

The Google Health definition for the common cold: "The common cold generally involves a runny nose, nasal congestion, and sneezing. You may also have a sore throat, cough, headache, or other symptoms. Over 200 viruses can cause a cold."
My definition for the common cold: "All of the above, plus you will be unable to focus on your homework and will write lame blog posts instead, and your head will feel like it's stuffed full of cotton."
Just thought I'd throw that out there.
Hmm... I wonder if this means that I have over two hundred viruses (and don't point out that just because over two hundred viruses can cause a cold doesn't mean that I have them all - I don't want to hear your legalistic commentaries!). I picture an intense virus vs. white blood cell battle going on somewhere in my bloodstream. In my mind, I picture them all brandishing tiny swords and attacking each other cinematically while bystanding red blood cells duck for cover. All of the viruses are horrifically deformed and evil-looking, rather like the orcs from The Lord of the Rings, and the white blood cells are heroically outnumbered. I'm not sure if there is anything vaguely realistic about this mental image, because despite taking AP biology, I know woefully little about anything. So if you have a bio test on the immune system and decide to put down my explanation for how viruses are combatted, don't yell at me in the unlikely but possible event that I'm wrong.

And just to put out a vaguely related Forrest Gump reference: "Do you have a cough due to cold?"

Stress, and It's Only September

College search = stress.

AP classes = stress.

Sleep deficiency = stress.

Cross country meets = stress.

Lack of lunch period = stress.

September 2010 = STRESS.

Naptime.

...Oh wait, never mind. If I sleep, that entire tower of homework will fall on my head and probably kill me. Death by homework avalanche. Tragic, tragic.